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Who has had a life without a few rejections? I know majority of people would not raise their hands because we ALL have had some upsets in the road. Rejections suck in the moment and they usually are a hard pill to swallow, but I can say I am blessed to have experienced rejection in my life. Blessed? Yes, blessed because I am so much stronger today because of those rejections.
Rejection can come in a many forms and avenues in our lives. You can feel rejected or experience rejection.
Some Examples Would Be:
- From someone you liked or a friend
- From a position or job
- From a school/ institution
- From an opportunity
- From something you applied to
I won’t gloss over the fact that they hurt, and in the moment the last thing you want to hear is how it is going to make you stronger. I completely understand that because no one can tell me in that very moment anything, but give me a shoulder to cry on and a
few box of issues. Most of the time if I experience it in the middle of a work day, I cannot wait until I go home to breakdown. So, I need to go into a stairwell or somewhere isolated and have my moment.
It is normal to break down! And, for me it is necessary. I need to get those emotions out, so I can move on. However, the important part is how you recover from this said rejection.
That is the meat of this post.
Rejection can simply mean redirection”-Maya Angelou
When I saw this while I was reading, My Journey with Maya, by Tavis Smiley, I surely started shaking my head and snapping my fingers on the train. You know when something just speaks to you and you have to give it a head nod. Yes, I had to give it one of those.
Maya Angelou was nothing short of incredible, and she hit it right on the nose with this one. I
think know we experience rejection to grow. I believe we go through rejection for two reasons.
It was not meant for us or we are not ready yet.
Not Meant For Us
We might really want a new job or go to an amazing school, and we only have our eyes set on that ONE place. We think it’s the end all be all if we don’t go there because there is no where else we would want to be. Then when we don’t get it, it feels like a boulder has fell on top of us and we are stuck underneath it.
It is even more painful when we put all of our eggs in one basket and think that’s the ONLY basket for us.
One, I have learned it is usually not the best if we do not give ourselves options or put too much weight on one thing. We should have goals, and some goals will have priority over others. That is okay and recommended because we also should not deny ourselves to push hard for something we truly want.
However, if you do not give yourself options then you will have nothing to fall back on. Plan B does not always mean we are choosing the mediocre route, it can simply mean we are giving ourselves time to improve (my point 2) or we might realize this is where we are meant to be.
Many times we are stubborn and refuse to see anything else than our top choice, but we could be losing sight on what is truly meant for us. This brings me to number two.
Two, whether you believe in God or the universe, I believe things are meant for us and some things are not. You can beat yourself up or be mad at the universe, but if something was not meant for you at a given time you will not get it. For me, that means it is okay. I did my part, and I did everything I could possibly do, so it was not my time. Cool.
We feel disappointed not because we felt like we could have done more, but because we gave it our all, and still did not get it. In that case, it is not on you.
We Are Not Ready Yet
In the moment it is difficult to come to this realization when we really want something. You feel ready and you look ready, so how come it is not working? Then down the line a few months or years after you got that no, you realize you really were not ready yet.
My younger self got so angry when I got a rejection that I could not understand at the time, and now when I look back, I can see why. I am now more prepared for those opportunities because I am more mature; thus, I will benefit more. So, we should always be working to be our best selves. If you did not get the job you dreamed of right away, that is not a reason to stop being amazing. That is a reason to be even more amazing. You want to prove those people wrong when you come back better than ever. So, the next time they see you, they will be begging you to stay.
Why We Shy Away From Rejection
Sometimes we even take ourselves out of the equation because we fear rejection. We are afraid of hearing that no, so we don’t go for it at all. Oh no! That mentality only holds you back because chances are, you are being way too hard on yourself. Do not miss out on an opportunity because you are scared you might not get it. Since you did not go for it, you definitely won’t get it, and it could have been meant for you.
You can fear rejection from going for a job or a guy you really like. Either way, I am talking from experience, it is good to go for it. I’ll give a little dose of own craziness that I am not proud of, but for some reason I am more afraid of rejection from guys than a job opportunity. Either way I am upset, but with men it is a different ballgame. I can go into an entire post about this, so I’ll stop for now. If you guys are interested in the single girl struggle, I am welcome to writing posts on that too. Just comment and let me know if you would be interested.
Looking at my past rejections like… bye girl! They’ve strengthened and helped me become who I am today. Obsessed with anything I’m wearing? Check out colourpop for their amazing lipsticks and justfab for their beautiful shoes. I can’t get over how affordable both companies are! (not an affiliate or sponsored post) But, if I like something I want to share it with all of you!
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Anyway, rejection can be awful. However, use rejection as a redirection to be able to re-access yourself. Take this time to see if this is what you truly want. If the rejection helped you realize that you should be taking another path, then go for it! But, if you still feel like this is where you are meant to be or do, then better yourself to make it happen. Either way, don’t allow a prolonged pity party for yourself because it is not the end of the world.
We are worth more than allowing another person or company to determine our future.
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